My parents did it, and I turned out fine...

Can we all just agree that that is the worst line ever?

I mean really...my grandparents rode in the front seat of the car with no seatbelts or carseats...And they turned out fine. So why can't I do it?

I mean, really, that's what it sounds like to me when people use that line!

And it is used often! For anything from spankings and fast food to unrestricted screen time and starting solid foods.

It. Drives. Me. Nuts.

If you truly did turn out "fine" then you are lucky because the rest of us are getting worse.

Overall mental wellbeing has been steadily declining in America's youth for over 80 years.

Yes. Since the 1930s, our teens and young adults have been growing more depressed and more anxious.

In fact, from 2005 to 2014, the percentage of teens who claimed to have suffered major depression rose from 8.7% to 11.3% according to a study.
One in ELEVEN teens has a depressive episode each year.

Mentally ill teens become mentally ill adults and I am sitting here wondering what part of this is "fine."

Someone once told me they were spa ked as a child and they, and their siblings, all turned out fine. All of the children in this family grew into very anxious and/or depressed adults, to the point of needing medication and one wound up in jail.

That is NOT "fine."

We are not fine. Society as a whole is sick. Very sick. And we are getting sicker.

Between 2001 and 2009, instances of Type 1 diabetes increased by 23%. Celiac disease is on the rise and is now affe ting 1 in 133 people in the good ol' USA. Autoimmune disease are taking us over and the CDC has said they have no idea why!


So please, stop saying you are fine. Chances are, you are not "fine."


Heart disease, mental illness, autoimmune disorders, obesity, etc. It's everywhere and It's getting worse.

I'm not content to sit back and watch my kids suffer the same challenges I have. What we are doing, as a society, is not working.

So, I'm trying something different.

I buy my dirty dozen organic. I get my meat without hormones. I drink my milk raw and I avoid sugar like the plague.

I explain my reasons to my children. I try my damnedest to use a gentle voice and listen to their side of things. I struggle, but I wake up every morning with a plan to not spank them.

I limit their screen time to a max of 30 minutes a day and I preview every single thing they see.

I once handmade all of our soaps and cleaners...I still do some, but I must admit, I've gotten lazy.

I baby wear, cosleep, and breastfeed.

I don't care how many people turned out "fine."
More and more of us aren't. And that's reason enough for me to do something different.

Misfit mommies, unite! 👊

Apologizing is Overrated

So, I have kids. Obviously. And these kids fight. A lot.
Well, today, we had one of those fights. Aedyn was on Zachary's bed and he wanted her off. So, he shoved her off.
Don't worry, she caught herself...

...with her face.

I hear screaming and rush into their room to see her there with a bloody nose and him sitting in the corner looking simultaneous smug and guilty...an expression he has perfected.

So, after the bleeding stopped, he comes out and sits next to her and says, "I am going to draw you a picture so you know I am sorry and it will be all better."

I turned to him with an expression of pure bewilderment. Apparently I had some parenting to do.

Apologizing does not make things all better. Saying that you are sorry does not heal wounds, physical or emotional. It just doesn't, and to think that it does is just foolish and immature.

Now, Zachary is only six, so he is allowed to have moments of foolishness and immaturity....and those are the moments we parents need to step up and teach.

I find that kids, mine at least, respond well to visual aids. So, let me introduce you to my method.

I take a perfectly smooth and white piece of printer paper and show it to them.

This paper is a brand new baby. Flawless. Perfect. Undamaged.

Now, this baby grows into a child and then an adult and over the years they get told some mean words. They get called stupid and lazy and selfish.

So now those words have damaged this flawless human being. Look at those ugly words.
Now, let's say those people who said those things apologize for saying them. They try to erase them, if you will.

Did erasing work? No, of course not. It may have lessened the sting a little bit, but those words are forever engrained on this person's heart, faded, but definitely there and those words will sneak up on them in their moments of weakness.


Not. Cool.


Now, over the years, they were also pushed and kicked and hit by others. Let's say there was a bully in school and they got into a few tussle with their brother as well.

Ouch. That looks like it hurts.

Well, the bully finds them on Facebook and sends them an apology to assuage their guilt and they are now the best of friends with their brother. So, let's smooth that paper back out.

Oh no...it isn't as smooth as it was before. Let's try even harder to flatten it back out.

Nope...not happening. This paper is never going to be the same as it was before. Just look at the difference here.

Saying sorry doesn't make it all better.

It. Just. Doesn't.

Forgiveness can heal a lot of things, but that hasn't worked it's way into the paper model, yet. I'm working on it.

So, please...stop teaching your kids that apologies fix everything. It's unrealistic. They are a necessary part of healing that relationship, but they definitely do not make everything all better.

How about instead, we take the time to teach our kiddos that being mean is never okay and that we ought to love our neighbors?
That sounds much better to me.

What do you think of the paper model? How would you work forgiveness into it?

Christians have too many rules...

The Bible has a lot of rules. I mean…a lot. I honestly have no idea just how many are there, and I felt no urge from the Spirit to Google it because it is enough to say that there are a whole stinkin’ lot of them! Leviticus is probably the most well-known book of the Bible for spouting off rules that seem unnecessary, questionable, or just plain ludicrous (do not wear clothing made of two different materials…huh?)# If you’d like to look at other befuddling laws in other books of the Bible just hit up Google and type in “laws of the old covenant” and browse away! The Ten Commandments are also well-known, and rightly so as they are relevant today. When God gave the nation of Israel the laws to live by way back in the day, He was providing them with a means for hygiene, health, and a healthy society. Many of those laws have science to back them up nowadays. However, The Ten Commandments were something He decreed for all nations and generations. They are relevant to every culture, even today, and will be until the second coming of Christ. So why do we have these rules to follow, if God knew they would no longer be relevant at some point? Well, we don’t. They are documented in the Bible, but that is what we call the old covenant. We are under the new covenant. Jesus came to Earth as God in human form and sacrificed himself to save us from our sins, therefore creating a new covenant with mankind to save us from Hell. That means a lot less headaches trying to follow along with all the rules. We no longer have rules, per say, but a standard that we are held to. I already mentioned The Ten Commandments, and while they are set up as rules, they outline the standard God holds us to. Being a Christian is so much more, though. Jesus came to Earth to live a life that we should emulate as best we can everyday. You see, when Jesus came to Earth, He left man (and woman) with a rational, simple, and necessary standard to live up to. The standard we are required by God to live by is rational; it just makes plain, good ol’ sense. For example, the first of the commandments says that you shall have no other gods before the One True God. Well, duh! If you come to realize that God exists and that He created you and loves you unconditionally…why on Earth would you follow another “god?” That makes no sense! The second commandment of not creating false idols, pretty much goes along with that first one. Then there’s the fourth one. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Um, God expects us to work and earn our living…but He gave us a day to rest. Who would forget to rest?! I don’t know about you, but I like to take a break every once in a while. Look at any of The Ten Commandments and you will find that they are each rational. For more information on those commandments, and what they mean, click here. Now, we are also commended by Christ himself to love. When he was asked which of the laws of the old covenant (which wasn’t the old one, yet) was the greatest, he replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”# So, we’re supposed to love people, okay, fair enough, but how is that rational?  Now, God is love. He does not just love us, He actually is love. God is also good. So, if God is love and God is good, then we can use the transitive property of mathematics to derive that love is good. We want to be good, right? So then it would be rational to love. With me so far? Not only is God’s standard rational, but it is also oh so simple. Every single of the commandments is short, sweet and straight to the point. They are all black and white with absolutely no gray area. I feel no urge to even go into any specifically, because it is that simple. Visit the page I referenced earlier if you need proof. Love, however, can be a bit complex if you don’t have the right definition of love. Many people today are misguided in thinking that love is an emotion. If something makes you feel good, gives you butterflies, or makes you happy in general, you claim to love it. However, that is called infatuation. It would be very hard to love everyone and everything as God does, if we were trying to be infatuated with everything. So then, if that’s not love, what is? Well, the Bible defines that for us, too! It makes it very simple! Take a look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Go ahead. I’ll wait… Now, how simple is that? Love is patient. There’s no wiggle room or gray area there. It’s patient…end of story. It’s kind and humble and steadfast and all these things. Now, it’s not easy to be all of those things all of the time, regardless of who you are dealing with, but now the goal of loving is a lot more reachable than when you think of infatuation. See? All of God’s “rules” are simple. They are, in fact, much more simple than modern law. The Bible says “do not kill,” but the State of California says “(clickhereforlaw)” People go to school for years to get a grasp of modern law, and still spend their lifetime learning about it and how it works, but people can spend just a few hours and get a firm understanding of what God commands of us. Last, but certainly not least, God’s standard is absolutely necessary to a healthy, happy, functioning society. Commandment number five says to obey your parents. If children did not obey their parents, we would be in big trouble. Children who do not obey their parents grow into adults who do not obey the law. Commandment number five is necessary to producing law-abiding citizens. Commandments six through nine state that you should not kill, cheat on your spouse, steal, or lie. All of these acts encourage distrust and chaos. These rules are necessary to maintain harmony among people. Commandment number ten says to not covet, or to not want what someone else has. This is necessary for our own state of mind. When you want something that someone else has, you become dissatisfied with your own possessions. This is also applicable to family members and environments. Wishing that your son was potty-trained as early as your neighbors, only leads you to be unhappy with your son’s current abilities on the toilet. Dissatisfaction makes loving much more difficult and can lead to bad moods and harsh words or thoughts. Therefore, this rule is also necessary to maintaining harmony. Regardless of what the rule may be, rules are necessary by principle. We cannot function adequately without boundaries. Look at children who are raised by permissive parents who have little or no rules and fail to enforce them. These children grow up lacking self-control and respect for authority. In a study once done in an elementary school, children were offered to pick and choose whatever they wanted for lunch, rather than having set healthy portions and food groups available. In this study, children did pig out on junk food for the first week or so, but they certainly went back to a healthy, balanced lunch shortly thereafter. Why? Because we need structure. Humans thrive off of structure. Rules are necessary. We want rules! People are happier with rules, plain and simple. We set personal rules for ourselves all the time. We know our tendency to do wrong and to make poor choices, and we use the precedence of our past to create boundaries for ourselves. “Okay, in bed by ten before a test!” “No more dating musicians!” “I am not going to buy potato chips anymore!” We know we’re flawed. We just know and we make rules accordingly. So, we know now that when Jesus came to Earth, He left us with a rational, simple, and necessary standard to live by. We’ve discussed why it’s rational, simple, and necessary…but just what is that standard? We can examine the Bible and pick it apart and try to interpret every little verse, or we can do it the easy way. Sin is what separates us from God, right? Well, what is sin? Sin comes from the Greek and was a term used in archery and it literally means “to miss the mark.” Sin does not necessarily mean breaking a “rule” that God has laid out for us. It means to miss the mark that God has set. It means not hitting the bull’s-eye. The bull’s-eye is Jesus Christ. We are to emulate Him in everything we do. The Holy Spirit will convict us of our wrong, there is no need to study rules and regulations in the Bible. For example, you can say that well, “I just cannot conclude that homosexuality is wrong. The Bible tiptoes around it, but doesn’t come right out and say it.” However, we know that God created sex for reproduction. We know he created woman to be man’s helper. Just on these two facts alone, we know that it is a sin. Simply because it misses the mark. Woman is supposed to be man’s helper, not woman’s helper. Sex is supposed to result in children and between the same gender, it does not. We can also look at the controversy of premarital sex….or any heavy premarital contact. We know that we are supposed to emulate Jesus. Do you think Jesus was walking around having sex with anyone he pleased? I think not. I have WWJD tattooed on my inner wrist to always remind me. I am not called to obey God’s rules, I am called to follow Jesus’ example. So, just because you can’t find a verse strictly forbidding it, does not mean that it’s okay. The Holy Spirit will convict you. You’ll know you’re in the wrong. Follow the example He set and evade sin. It’s not hard. It’s not oppressive. There is more than enough room for fun and laughter and love in the Christian life. When confronted with someone trying to denounce or question the Christian faith and they throw “there are just too many rules” at you…just tell them that God’s rules are no harder to live by than society’s rules!The Bible has a lot of rules. I mean…a lot. I honestly have no idea just how many are there, and I felt no urge from the Spirit to Google it because it is enough to say that there are a whole stinkin’ lot of them! Leviticus is probably the most well-known book of the Bible for spouting off rules that seem unnecessary, questionable, or just plain ludicrous (do not wear clothing made of two different materials…huh?)# If you’d like to look at other befuddling laws in other books of the Bible just hit up Google and type in “laws of the old covenant” and browse away! The Ten Commandments are also well-known, and rightly so as they are relevant today. When God gave the nation of Israel the laws to live by way back in the day, He was providing them with a means for hygiene, health, and a healthy society. Many of those laws have science to back them up nowadays. However, The Ten Commandments were something He decreed for all nations and generations. They are relevant to every culture, even today, and will be until the second coming of Christ. So why do we have these rules to follow, if God knew they would no longer be relevant at some point? Well, we don’t. They are documented in the Bible, but that is what we call the old covenant. We are under the new covenant. Jesus came to Earth as God in human form and sacrificed himself to save us from our sins, therefore creating a new covenant with mankind to save us from Hell. That means a lot less headaches trying to follow along with all the rules. We no longer have rules, per say, but a standard that we are held to. I already mentioned The Ten Commandments, and while they are set up as rules, they outline the standard God holds us to. Being a Christian is so much more, though. Jesus came to Earth to live a life that we should emulate as best we can everyday. You see, when Jesus came to Earth, He left man (and woman) with a rational, simple, and necessary standard to live up to. The standard we are required by God to live by is rational; it just makes plain, good ol’ sense. For example, the first of the commandments says that you shall have no other gods before the One True God. Well, duh! If you come to realize that God exists and that He created you and loves you unconditionally…why on Earth would you follow another “god?” That makes no sense! The second commandment of not creating false idols, pretty much goes along with that first one. Then there’s the fourth one. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Um, God expects us to work and earn our living…but He gave us a day to rest. Who would forget to rest?! I don’t know about you, but I like to take a break every once in a while. Look at any of The Ten Commandments and you will find that they are each rational. For more information on those commandments, and what they mean, click here. Now, we are also commended by Christ himself to love. When he was asked which of the laws of the old covenant (which wasn’t the old one, yet) was the greatest, he replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”# So, we’re supposed to love people, okay, fair enough, but how is that rational?  Now, God is love. He does not just love us, He actually is love. God is also good. So, if God is love and God is good, then we can use the transitive property of mathematics to derive that love is good. We want to be good, right? So then it would be rational to love. With me so far? Not only is God’s standard rational, but it is also oh so simple. Every single of the commandments is short, sweet and straight to the point. They are all black and white with absolutely no gray area. I feel no urge to even go into any specifically, because it is that simple. Visit the page I referenced earlier if you need proof. Love, however, can be a bit complex if you don’t have the right definition of love. Many people today are misguided in thinking that love is an emotion. If something makes you feel good, gives you butterflies, or makes you happy in general, you claim to love it. However, that is called infatuation. It would be very hard to love everyone and everything as God does, if we were trying to be infatuated with everything. So then, if that’s not love, what is? Well, the Bible defines that for us, too! It makes it very simple! Take a look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Go ahead. I’ll wait… Now, how simple is that? Love is patient. There’s no wiggle room or gray area there. It’s patient…end of story. It’s kind and humble and steadfast and all these things. Now, it’s not easy to be all of those things all of the time, regardless of who you are dealing with, but now the goal of loving is a lot more reachable than when you think of infatuation. See? All of God’s “rules” are simple. They are, in fact, much more simple than modern law. The Bible says “do not kill,” but the State of California says “(clickhereforlaw)” People go to school for years to get a grasp of modern law, and still spend their lifetime learning about it and how it works, but people can spend just a few hours and get a firm understanding of what God commands of us. Last, but certainly not least, God’s standard is absolutely necessary to a healthy, happy, functioning society. Commandment number five says to obey your parents. If children did not obey their parents, we would be in big trouble. Children who do not obey their parents grow into adults who do not obey the law. Commandment number five is necessary to producing law-abiding citizens. Commandments six through nine state that you should not kill, cheat on your spouse, steal, or lie. All of these acts encourage distrust and chaos. These rules are necessary to maintain harmony among people. Commandment number ten says to not covet, or to not want what someone else has. This is necessary for our own state of mind. When you want something that someone else has, you become dissatisfied with your own possessions. This is also applicable to family members and environments. Wishing that your son was potty-trained as early as your neighbors, only leads you to be unhappy with your son’s current abilities on the toilet. Dissatisfaction makes loving much more difficult and can lead to bad moods and harsh words or thoughts. Therefore, this rule is also necessary to maintaining harmony. Regardless of what the rule may be, rules are necessary by principle. We cannot function adequately without boundaries. Look at children who are raised by permissive parents who have little or no rules and fail to enforce them. These children grow up lacking self-control and respect for authority. In a study once done in an elementary school, children were offered to pick and choose whatever they wanted for lunch, rather than having set healthy portions and food groups available. In this study, children did pig out on junk food for the first week or so, but they certainly went back to a healthy, balanced lunch shortly thereafter. Why? Because we need structure. Humans thrive off of structure. Rules are necessary. We want rules! People are happier with rules, plain and simple. We set personal rules for ourselves all the time. We know our tendency to do wrong and to make poor choices, and we use the precedence of our past to create boundaries for ourselves. “Okay, in bed by ten before a test!” “No more dating musicians!” “I am not going to buy potato chips anymore!” We know we’re flawed. We just know and we make rules accordingly. So, we know now that when Jesus came to Earth, He left us with a rational, simple, and necessary standard to live by. We’ve discussed why it’s rational, simple, and necessary…but just what is that standard? We can examine the Bible and pick it apart and try to interpret every little verse, or we can do it the easy way. Sin is what separates us from God, right? Well, what is sin? Sin comes from the Greek and was a term used in archery and it literally means “to miss the mark.” Sin does not necessarily mean breaking a “rule” that God has laid out for us. It means to miss the mark that God has set. It means not hitting the bull’s-eye. The bull’s-eye is Jesus Christ. We are to emulate Him in everything we do. The Holy Spirit will convict us of our wrong, there is no need to study rules and regulations in the Bible. For example, you can say that well, “I just cannot conclude that homosexuality is wrong. The Bible tiptoes around it, but doesn’t come right out and say it.” However, we know that God created sex for reproduction. We know he created woman to be man’s helper. Just on these two facts alone, we know that it is a sin. Simply because it misses the mark. Woman is supposed to be man’s helper, not woman’s helper. Sex is supposed to result in children and between the same gender, it does not. We can also look at the controversy of premarital sex….or any heavy premarital contact. We know that we are supposed to emulate Jesus. Do you think Jesus was walking around having sex with anyone he pleased? I think not. I have WWJD tattooed on my inner wrist to always remind me. I am not called to obey God’s rules, I am called to follow Jesus’ example. So, just because you can’t find a verse strictly forbidding it, does not mean that it’s okay. The Holy Spirit will convict you. You’ll know you’re in the wrong. Follow the example He set and evade sin. It’s not hard. It’s not oppressive. There is more than enough room for fun and laughter and love in the Christian life. When confronted with someone trying to denounce or question the Christian faith and they throw “there are just too many rules” at you…just tell them that God’s rules are no harder to live by than society’s rules!

Pregnancy is not beautiful, it's pretty damn disgusting.

And I mean like gag worthy.

Welcome to my 3 part Raw Beginnings of Motherhood series. Today is pregnancy. Labor and postpartum will come later.

This series is gonna be pretty TMI, so you sensitive folks should probably just scroll on by. In all honesty, though, if you have ever been pregnant, this probably won't phase you.

Now, lets be real for a moment, while pregnancy is quite possibly the nastiest thing, like, ever, it has its perks.

After suffering several losses and many many months of negative tests, this pregnancy has been a huge blessing. We rejoice in our little rainbow daily, and I am so excited to meet her in the next 4 weeks. What my body is doing (and finally doing right!) is beautiful beyond compare. It's a miracle that this baby en exists in my womb, and I am amazed still at what a woman's body can do.

But it's still pretty freaking gross.

Like....ew.

I asked my fellow due-in-October mommies what they felt was the nastiest part of pregnancy just for this series, and they did not disappoint. While I cannot possibly include every single suggestion, I will include the top 5 in detail and we do have some honorable mentions as well.

Among some of the lesser voted for symptoms, we had:

• Neverending farts
• The massive bush from being unable to shave your lady bits
• Leaky Boobs
• Recurring UTIs and
• Recurring yeast infections

Nasty, right? And that's not even the top 5!

So let's get started, shall we?


5) Peeing Your Pants

Um, yes. You read that correctly. You won't have your period,but you can expect to still be wearing pads while you are pregnant, particularly in the last trimester, because you will be yourself.

Gotta sneeze? You're gonna pee.
Cough? Pee.
Your best friend told you the best joke everrr? Yeah, you're gonna pee.

Don't even lean too far forward or you'll push baby's face into your bladder and pee.

Just today I peed a little trying to get out of the car after church. I'm 36 weeks pregnant. No shame.

It's a constant thing. There is no way to stop it. There aren't even Kegels in the world for this monster. Just slap a pad in your chonies and surrender because You. Will. Not. Win.

4) Hair, Hair Everywhere...

No, I'm not exaggerating. Everywhere.

My belly is fuzzy. Not like peach fuzz, like actual hair growing on my belly. My boobs are now sprouting so much hair, I wouldn't be surprised if my daughter has a hairball in her first few days of life.

I also have facial hair. Now, I already struggled with that before because of my PCOS, but now it's just a losing battle. I have a little beard and mustache that just won't quit.

The hair you already have grows in thicker. Which is freakin' great on top of your head. Not so great for those eyebrows you pluck, the legs you shave, or the arm hair that starts creeping up along the backs of your hands.

Don't forget knuckles and toes! Them suckers is hairy, too!

Dude, seriously, pregnant women are like werewolves, I swear.

And we are just about that cranky, too.

What can a woman do about all of that hair?
Well, sadly, you can't prevent it from coming. You just can't.

Your follicles will turn on you and you are helpless to stop it.

However, you can get rid of what is there.

Absolutely NO bleaches or chemical depilatories (think like Nair and other creams like it). You also cannot do any permanent hair removal during pregnancy like lasers and such.

You can shave and wax. That's perfectly safe.

Downside? Waxing already hurts and it hurts a lot worse when you are pregnant because you nerves are extra sensitive with all of the increased blood flow. Bummer.
But hey, if you wanna be a friggin' beast and wax it all, then be my guest. More power to you, ya tough cookie.

The downside to shaving is that you will eventually reach a point where you absolutely cannot reach certain areas. My legs got their last shave last week. I pretty much can only manage my eyebrows, face, and pits at this point. My hubby handles everything below the belly.

I know, I know. I'm such a lucky girl.

3) Hemorrhoids

Okay, first off, what the hell is a hemorrhoid?

Hell.

Okay, but no really. they suck. A hemorrhoid is basically just a swollen vein in the rectum. It really doesn't sound that bad.

I mean, that little sucker looks harmless, right?

However, when  combine with the other common pregnancy symptom of constipation (which is often the case), they are just an absolute nightmare.

Think like, sitting on the toilet, desperately wishing you just poo already because your stomach hurts and then it comes and with it comes tears, shaking uncontrollably, blood, itch, and extreme debilitating pain. I mean, it hurts so bad, you can't even wipe, you have to go rinse your bum off in the shower. And now repeat this every 2-3 days. Every single day if you aren't already constipated.

Why do pregnant ladies get hemorrhoids? Well, it's a combination of things. First...everything is swollen anyways with all of that extra blood pumping through her body. Swollen feet and ankles, swollen labia...swollen butt veins are just the icing on the cake.
Then add in all of the pressure from baby. Especially if you sit a lot during the day. That's pressure from two ways. Pressure on an already inflamed area? Yeah, that's not a good combo.

Unfortunately, hemorrhoids are not easy to fix, either, but you do have a few options.

For you crunchy folk, witch hazel, applied to a pad and stuffed in your crack can be quite soothing, and may even help the swelling a bit. Add some geranium oil, too, and you really have a winning combo for soothing your sore bum.
A huge part of helping the healing is making sure you are not constipated and that the poos coming out are nice and soft. I am currently sucking down a green smoothie for this very reason. I swear by the Apple N Greens smoothie from Jamba Juice. It's like magic. But anything will do. Lots of fiber, at least half of your body weight in ounces of water, prunes juice, and stay on top of your Probio5 and BioCleanse. If crunchy ain't your thing, get some OTC stool softener, Just make sure you check with your healthcare provider to make sure it is safe for pregnancy. No laxatives.
Finally, to help ease the swelling, I like to take an Epsom salt bath. I had one last night and it helped me out a bunch. Fill the tub with warm water. Mix up 2 cups of Epsom salts with 5 drops each of Cypress, Geranium, and Peppermint oils. All the salts to the tub and mix well, then soak for 20-30 minutes. Cypress helps constrict blood vessels, Peppermint and the salts both help to reduce inflammation, and Geranium is soothing.

2) Excessive Discharge

Oh. My. Gosh.

This one here is another reason you need to wear a pad every single day. I'm not exaggerating. I went to L&D no less than four times with my first, thinking that my water had broken. It never did, that's just how much discharge a pregnant woman can have. Like a constant flow.

In fact, with my third, I thought my water hadn't broken when it actually had! I had assumed it was just more of that nasty stuff.

I mean, it does serve a purpose. It helps to keep the canal clear of any infections. But still....ewwww.

Oh, and this is yet another symptom that you can do absolutely nothing about. Yippee!!

3) Acid Reflux

Okay, this one won by a long shot, and it's no surprise why. Unless you have dealt with acid reflux firsthand, you can't fully understand how it is more than just uncomfortable and heads into gross territory.

Loads of pregos deal with reflux. The hormone Relaxin is getting the body ready for labor. It is loosening up all of the joints and stretching and spreading everything apart so that there is room for baby to come through the birth canal.

However, it doesn't work on just the birth canal. It spreads and relaxes everything, everywhere. This includes the sphincter that can be found between your esophagus and stomach. So, now it's relaxed and opened up, and stomach acid can now creep its way up the esophagus and burn the every living hell out of the poor prego.

It doesn't just burn, it can cause you to cough. A lot.

Cough and cough and cough....and all of that coughing just forces the stomach acid up farther and farther until...you spit up. Like a flippin' baby. Yeah, you read that right.

There is nothing sexier than making out with your hubby, having a coughing fit ensue, and then vomiting right there. Obviously, I kid. It's not sexy. It's disgusting and a total mood killer.

You can't stop the acid reflux, but there is something you can do to minimize the burning. I am a fan of eating a banana. I was skeptical at first, but it does indeed help. Just munch on a banana when the burning strikes and it should help kill the acidity. Gestational diabetes limiting your banana intake? You can pop a couple Tums and have the same effect. Just make you your doctor okays it first!


So, yes, pregnancy is disgusting. It truly is.

But you know, to get through the gross, you just gotta maintain a sense of humor, remember you are not alone, and focus on the amazing thing your body is doing. Because as nasty as it is, pregnancy is also pretty damn beautiful.


Is there anything you would add to the list? What was the grossest part of your pregnancy?


Until next time, Misfits!

So, I hear padsicles are legit...

Yeah, I totally just said padsicles. Like "pad" plus "popsicles."

Sounds pretty gross, right?

I promise, you'll get over it.

So what is the deal with padsicles?

Well, there are for after birth. Cause, you know, your lady bits are sore and raw and just not very happy.
I've never had a vaginal birth, but I can imagine those first few days are pretty..er......tender.

So, since I plan on having a vba3c, I thought I might as well be prepared for that swollen mess and whip up a few of these bad boys.

These are actually ridiculously simple to make.

First, grab a few maxi pads. I used six. I figure if I need to make more, I can, whereas if I make too much, then I'm stuck with random frozen pads in my freezer, and that's just kind of weird, amiright?

So, you need to take the maxi pads and open them up, but DO NOT remove the plastic backing. If there are wings, then open them up. The pads should look just like this...

Now, I looked all over for different recipes, and then I kind of came up with my own based on what I know of the ingredients and what I had on hand, so....

The next step is to add the good stuff.

I added one tablespoon each of aloe vera juice and witch hazel. I put the juice on first and made sure to spread it all over. I mean everywhere. Then the witch hazel got dumped right down the middle of the pad. Finally, I added 2-3 drops of lavender (geranium is also a great option, but I didn't have any on hand this evening).

/1

This is what the loaded up pad should look like...

So...pretty much the same, just a little shiny in the middle.

Now, just refold the wings up, and fold the pad back up and stick it in a freezer safe baggie with its buddies!

How super easy was that?!

To use: Remove on pad from fridge, and allow to thaw out for about 5 minutes (you don't want any freezer burn on your sensitive parts), and then use as you normally would.

The aloe vera juice and lavender oil are both super soothing and the witch hzel can help keep it all nice and clean...well....as clean as you can be those first few days postpartum!

What do my misfits think? Do you with you had some padsicles after your delivery?

Don't forget to follow me on Facebook!

I give you...the CHORE JAR

First, let me sum up my day with just two little words..

Ugh, kids.

Come on now. We've all had that day. Where you just wanna clunk 'em over the head with a hammer so they'll sleep for three days straight, so you can sit, sip some whiskey, and reread you favorite books all day.

No?

Just me?

Ah, well. Anyways, Aedyn, feral little thing that she is, was staked to me today. What is staked? When I read, she reads, when I eat, she eats, if I gotta go #2, then sorry kid. Sometimes she gets in these out of control "modes" where it is the only way to keep her safe. Constant supervision. We are getting to that chore jar, I promise.

Despite this, she still managed to run ahead of me as we walked down the hallway and lock herself in my bedrooom. She locked herself in my bathroom a few weeks ago, which is where we kept the key to our doors, so we moved it to our safe in our closet, in case that happened again.

You know...the closet....in our bedroom....where she locked herself in today.

SO after 15 minutes to get the shed keys, go out to the shed, get my hubby's toolbox, get tiny little tool to pop open the door, and open said door, she had painted my bathroom with toothpaste, dunked each of my urinalysis strips in a cup of her own pee (that was also spilled all over) because she wanted to be "just like YOU, Mommy!" and also opened up all of my new Paparazzi jewelry I just bought from a friend yesterday.

Yeahhhhhhh.

I surprised myself by managing to keep my cool. That might be because I had just barely spoken with her dr and found out she may a new and interesting diagnosis for some of this behavior. Still pretty proud for keeping my cool.
So, I ask her why she locked my bedroom door. Just to see. Did she think it through? Was it pure impulse? What the heck happened?

Seriously, almost done. I promise there is a chore jar at the end!

So anyways, why did she lock my bedroom door.

"Becauuuuuuuuse I wanted to play in the bathroom and before when I locked the bathroom you told me not to lock it anymore."

Okay, well....at least we know she had some sort of thought process and she is retaining information, right? Right?!

Let me reiterate...

Ugh, kids.





As bad as this sounds, she has gotten a lot better than before because I've worked really hard to bring some more structure into our day. Fun structure. Like this chore jar!

See? I told you I'd get to it!


Look at it, it's beautiful and I am proud!

Yeah, sometimes I am not much of a Misfit. Sometimes I seem to blend right in with all of the other Pinterest moms. I am a woman of many talents.

Anywho...

This was super easy! Popsicle sticks, hot glue, and a mason jar. Oh, and a Sharpie.

Glue the sticks on the jar following the ROYGBV pattern. Mine overlapped a tad. Just cause. The glue on some yellows horizontally for the label.

Write on the label and then pick some chores to write down on some additional sticks. I made them all the same color so my kids couldn't pick the same colors each day to only get the "good" chores. They're sneaky like that.

Don't use so many chores that they'll get overwhelmed and not even want to try, but don't be too soft on them either. Kids need chores. Some smart dudes proved it (I swear).

Here is what my 4 and 6 year olds draw from each day. Three chores each.

I know my handwriting sucks. Shut up and stop snickering. Gosh.

So there ya go! Super easy! They love it because they get different chores each day, so its less boring. And honestly...dude, chore time is now also a game. Win for mom! A friend in Crunchy Christian Mamas - Uncensored recommended the jar, and you bet your cute little tookus I ran with it!

And I'm so glad I did!


/
How do you like the chore jar? Are there any ways you'd improve upon it?

Christians are Hypocrites!

Okay, first, I'm sure many of you are wondering if I really meant that...

Yes, I did.

Christians are hypocrites, and it's horrendous. Think of pastors of churches who preach about loyalty to your spouse as being second only to your loyalty to God, and then they are caught in an affair. Really? You call that loyalty?
How about the countless women who use "prayer requests" as time to gossip about the people in their life? Aren't Christians supposed to look down on gossip?
How about the millions of Christians who preach about love and not to judge each other, and yet, then riot and picket and hate on homosexuals, abortionists, liberals, and other various people groups with different views than them?

That, my friends, is hypocrisy!

Matthew 7:3 states "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
Jesus himself warned against hypocrisy, so what's the deal?! In Matthew 23, Jesus goes on a very passionate rant against the Pharisees, and one of the most common insults he throws at them is that they are hypocrites!
You hear that? They were hypocrites.

Why is it so comfortable to rest in hypocrisy? If the Bible clearly states that hypocrisy is wrong, then why do we find so many Christians guilty of this sin?    

For one, we find our leaders are hypocrites. Monkey see, monkey do. There are so many pastors who look at the sins of the world and preach about what the Bible states is wrong in the world without preaching what is wrong in the church. Maybe more teachers should be teaching how to take the plank out of our own eye, and not how to spot the sawdust in our atheist friend's eye. Do you think maybe we could win more to the cause if we tried that approach?
What about love? Jesus was all about love. How many times have you heard a sermon about loving sinners? I don't mean loving your Christian neighbor when they wrestle with sin. I mean have you ever heard you pastor talk about how we are supposed to treat homosexuals, according to the Bible? Not likely. It's easy for us to love and forgive ourselves or our friend after a divorce, but we don't extend that same love toward a homosexual who has been "married" for ten, fifteen, twenty years.
Is it a sin? Yep. Is divorce a sin? Yes!! So why do they get treated differently? All sin is equal in God's eyes!     
What are some other leaders in our lives who are hypocrites? How about our parents? Everyone sins, but how many of us grew up with parents who taught "do as I say, not as I do?" What kind of a message has that sent us from infancy? That it's okay to do wrong and still point out that others shouldn't do it. We are quite literally taught from birth to be self-righteous!
Did you parents involve you in their prayer time when they asked for forgiveness of their sins? Did they involve you in their effort towards repentance?
Some parents do model these wonderful lessons to teach their children what is means to rely on God, but some do not. So what do we learn? We learn to judge others without judging ourselves!     

How about the world we live in? The secular world is full of hypocrisy, sure. Are we separated from this world? My family does not have cable and we only listen to Christian radio, so we have some amount of separation from the secular world. Is that true for most Christian homes? Nope.
With a lack of physical separation from the secular world, we lose our ethical separation as well. We begin to rationalize the Bible. We begin to think the way we used to, before we gave ourselves to Christ.

We begin to turn to hypocrisy.

We become these yo-yo Christians who repent and live righteous lives and then, slowly, our resolve begins to deteriorate. The world breaks us down and we find ourselves living in abominable sins and not caring one lick, but still judging others for their sins! And then the process starts all over with more repentance.   

Let's not forget the most evident reason why we are hypocrites. We are human. Sin is inevitable. Everyone sins and hypocrisy is a sin.
However, judging someone else's hypocrisy is also a sin.
The Bible tells us to alert our brother to their sin, but it never tells us to judge our brother for his sin. So.... if you're reading this with someone in mind, I suggest you stop, repent from your judgment and pray for forgiveness.
Humans are also incredibly ignorant. It's really easy to see the sin in others without noticing the exact same sin in our lives. Sometimes we are hypocrites without even realizing it!
Humans are also arrogant. How many Christians do you know feel like their sins are moot because they just need to pray for forgiveness? Just because you know your God will forgive you, does not mean you have the right to judge the Muslim who does the same thing.
Focus on yourself and lose the arrogance. God's forgiveness should humble you.     

Take a minute to read 1 Corinthians 13 in it's entirety. It's not a long chapter. We are clearly told that nothing we do will ever matter if we do not love.
Notice that it never once says that love is a judge.
You want to remove the sin of hypocrisy from your life? Refrain from judging others! Love everyone, regardless of what sin they have in their lives.
We are supposed to emulate Jesus Christ and He loved all passionately. He loved so much He died for sinners. Not for Christians. He died for murderers, for democrats, for rapists, for homosexuals, for pedophiles, and for thieves. He thought they were worthy of His love. Who are we to say that He was wrong and we should be more picky about who we love?    

Search yourself. I know I need to. What is the plank in my eye? Do you know the plank in your eye? Ask your neighbor, your friend, your spouse, or even your children. What can we improve on? We should spend more time fixing ourselves instead of trying to fix others, and maybe our world will look just a little brighter.